When our daughter Chloe was finishing her master’s degree in psychology, she had to complete group work as part of her assignments. For anyone who has ever had to work in a group on a project, especially in academia, you probably are shuddering at the memory. If not, you can guess what happens: there will be members of your group who either don’t understand the assignment or don’t care, and they will contribute little to nothing, leaving all the other group members to carry their share of the work.

In a couple of classes, Chloe’s group members began to overlap, and there was one guy who ended up in a number of her groups. He would consistently underperform when and if he decided to contribute at all. She often vented her frustration to us, which then culminated when the same guy won an award at her master’s hooding ceremony for his research project. How is it fair that a guy who contributed nothing in group work assignments but rode on the coattails of other group members wins an award for his research project?

It's not fair, friends, but you already know that. Life isn’t built to be fair, yet for some reason, we seem shocked each time it shows itself. But life’s fairness isn’t the question. Here’s the question: how do you choose to be in light of life’s unfairness and randomness? Resentment and bitterness rarely propel us forward in a positive way, so choosing to do your best even when others don’t or when they take advantage of you is your chance to defy injustice, not just for yourself but for those around you who witness the injustice. And when group work assignments deal you a bad hand, you control how you show up, which is all we ever can control anyway.