We’re in the midst of Lent, a season of the Christian calendar that encourages us to think about who we are and what we do. It’s a period of introspection some call “the way of descent.” Rather than focusing on how to live our best Instagram life, producing more and being more _____ (you fill in the blank), Lent can be a time to let go of the idea that we need to do more or be more than what we are. It can be a way to be with reality as it is, mortality, warts, and all.

Some people like to practice giving something up for Lent. Usually, it’s something they really like, so that every time they want that thing, it’s a reminder to reexamine why we want what we want. Though I don’t necessarily do a physical practice of giving something up each year, this year I decided I would give up something I really love to do: complain. If I think about why I complain, it probably would come down to this: I don’t like reality as it is, and I have my own idea of what it should be.

This is pretty embarrassing when you put it down on paper. The arrogance of thinking that I can improve reality by pointing out what’s wrong with it without going to the work of developing a solution is something I’m not proud of, but I’m guessing that I’m not alone. This Lenten season, I am trying to be aware of my desire to complain, consider if there is anything within my control to fix reality, and if not, I keep my negativity to myself. So far, I’ve been semi-successful. My family has no idea of the number of times I would have liked to complain; they’ve only seen my slip-ups. But if I can accept reality as it is, especially when I can’t change it, it seems like it will be a more restful approach to life than throwing the darts of blame and shame around.

Photo courtesy of Kuhlens Photography.