I am often the recipient of my generous daughter’s hand-me-downs. If she tires of some clothing or accessory or makeup, I’m the first in line to take it off her hands if it fits and I like it. Recently, she gifted me the cutest little black handbag. I loved it. But then I tried fitting my wallet in there. It was a no-go – too small. OK, even though I like having every card I own in my wallet, I thought I could get by with a small change purse that could hold a few cards, a driver’s license, and some cash (no change). So far, so good.
Then I attempted to integrate my paper products into the purse: Kleenex, hand wipes, etc. I couldn’t fit all them in, so I skinnied down to just two paper product items. No room for hand lotion, Tylenol, my grocery list. Barely room for one pen, a fingernail file, and a small pack of gum. I can make this work, I thought.
I started carrying the purse, and I loved how small and sleek it looked until I had to pull out my sunglasses or change purse without having the paper products, fingernail file, and gum attempt to exit the purse, too. Still I persisted. This purse is cute, an updated look, I told myself. You can make this work.
I tried, friends. I really did. I wanted to be at least a little in style, and for a brief moment, I think I achieved it in terms of my handbag. But it turns out that being in style requires some effort, and sometimes it means you give up something, such as comfort, utility, or practicality. I missed having all my paper products and my hand lotion especially. I missed being able to put my grocery list notebook in my purse. Carrying a smaller purse meant I was inconveniencing myself, and that became old quickly.
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” The author of the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu, supposedly wrote this wisdom, and I think pertains to handbags as well as other aspects of life. I moved my stuff back into my wallet with every single card and rewards ticket I own. I opened a new purse-size hand lotion and loaded it and my grocery list into an older, larger purse. It’s not as cute and probably not in style, but it makes my life easier. And ease is what I’m looking for.
I’ll still hold on to the cute black purse for those once-in-a-while events where a small bag seems more appropriate, but for everyday life, I’ll stick with the ease of my larger handbags. That’s the reward and wisdom of knowing yourself.