Uno was a popular game years ago, and I remember playing it with my boyfriend (now husband) and future in-laws. One particular evening I was having a stretch of bad luck, plagued with recurring “Draw 4” cards bestowed on me to the point that I could barely hold all my cards. The point of Uno, if you remember, is to reduce your cards, not increase them. As another Draw 4 was laid on me, I forgot this was a silly game and started to get mad. At what? The unfairness, the smirks of those who placed another Draw 4 card on the pile. I was really trying to win.
Winning is pretty important in American culture. It speaks in part to our desire to control as well as our desire to be well-thought of. No one wants to be labeled “a loser.” But in any competition, there will be a winner and loser. In life, we will experience wins and losses, joys and sorrows, and often, working hard or really trying will have little to do with them.
Does that mean we don’t try? Not a chance. The trying is what gives life its juice and excitement. But learning to hold the outcome a little less tightly helps us put a higher value on the process (i.e., the trying) and the connections with others we forge along the way. When life lands another Draw 4 in your lap, you can choose to laugh and keep playing.