I’ve become a fan of country music as of late, thanks to my daughter’s influence. She’s turned me on to Kacey Musgraves, whose music is probably more like early Taylor Swift than it is like George Strait. I’ve heard it said that country music manages to tell a story in just a few minutes, and I’ve seen how it takes a life truth and puts legs on it, not to mention a catchy tune to help us all remember it.

Take the song “Justified” by Kacey Musgraves. The truth it offers us is that “healing doesn’t happen in a straight line.” It goes on to share the story of a breakup, and though she wants to move forward, she keeps circling back to the love and longing as well as the rage.

I think that “healing doesn’t happen in a straight line” is true for more situations than just breakups. I’ve seen for myself that it’s true for grief as I go back and revisit memories that I wish could be different. I’m wondering if it’s even true for physical healing though I don’t have any anecdotal or documented research that says so.

Knowing that healing isn’t going to happen in a linear fashion can be helpful. We can quit beating ourselves up over not being able to move on or get over it. Instead, we can consider that emotional healing, like physical healing, is a repair that leaves us different, perhaps scarred or marked. It’s not something we get over but learn to include in the complexity of our very being. Straight lines and forward movement might seem like the best way to heal, but real healing takes a circuitous path that changes us and makes us more fully human.