My 40-year high school class reunion was cancelled in 2020 due to COVID, so a social mixer was held this year to make up for it. I couldn’t attend since I live across the country, but I relished looking at the photos from the event posted on Facebook. It made me wonder why many people enjoy getting together with high school classmates whom they’ve probably not seen since the last class reunion. I mean, we’re adults now with different interests, viewpoints, and appearances (had to throw that in).

Having a shared history with people grounds us. They remember us as we were then: young, immature, and obsessed with Barry Manilow (OK, that was just me, I think). Yet maturity has given them the grace to soften that memory and embrace the much-changed person in front of them. Author Madeleine L’Engle says, “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” Our old school friends help us remember “all the other ages [we’ve] been,” and at the same time, they affirm that, as flawed as those other versions of ourselves were, they were the best we could do at the time.

At the high school reunions I have been able to attend, time has been the great leveler and healer. Being able to remember “all the other ages you’ve been” with the grace of those who may have witnessed us at our immature worst gives us a chance to reclaim those memories with compassion for our younger selves.